Election diary: leaders of the gang

Looking at the all-male party leadership line-up for the forthcoming general election campaign I found myself, I don't know why, comparing them to movie gangster stereotypes. Here is what I came up with:

Bertie Ahern: Definitely the Godfather. Too much gravitas and not enough desperation to be Tony Soprano. But old style Godfather, a la Marland Brando, yes. This is a man who knows where the bodies are buried, though he doesn't have to bury them himself any more.

Enda Kenny: The FBI agent, sharp suited and slick haired, consumed by his efforts to topple the Godfather. But no matter how much time he spends in the barber's chair, he will never nail the Boss of Bosses unless, of course, an act of treachery occurs somewhere along the line.

Pat Rabbitte: Definitely strikes me as The Enforcer. This is the guy who is hiding in the back seat ready to pop up and slip the garotte around your neck.

Trevor Sergent: The youthful eagerness of this Dublin Four capo could get him into trouble. May die in a hail of bullets in a motorway toll booth ambush.

Michael McDowell: The Consigliore. Will never be accepted as a member of the family but tolerated by the Godfather and his cronies for his ability to keep them out of trouble, mainly with him.

Gerry Adams: The up and coming pretender from the Old Country. Sinn Fein's background of guns and murder may be a turnoff to many but a turn-on to some. A day may come in the great battle between Gerry and the Godfather when one will have to take the other out - or in.

We are a fortunate electorate indeed to have such a fine body of men to lead us, going forward.....